bmouse:
“Holy crap I found (and bought for a quarter) these con photos of Sid and Andy from back in the day. JFC they are so 90’s and adorable
” bmouse:
“Holy crap I found (and bought for a quarter) these con photos of Sid and Andy from back in the day. JFC they are so 90’s and adorable
” bmouse:
“Holy crap I found (and bought for a quarter) these con photos of Sid and Andy from back in the day. JFC they are so 90’s and adorable
” bmouse:
“Holy crap I found (and bought for a quarter) these con photos of Sid and Andy from back in the day. JFC they are so 90’s and adorable
”

bmouse:

Holy crap I found (and bought for a quarter) these con photos of Sid and Andy from back in the day. JFC they are so 90’s and adorable

asker-avatar
option-monad asked: well from looking at treatises on the messer, which is the only kind of one-handed sword used without a buckler i can find, theres a reasonable amount of wrestling done with the open hand. "Immediately let your messer drop / grab him with your right hand or arm wending outward in the crook of his left knee / lift him up and throw him. " dorks rolling around on the floor.
ladyyatexel answered:

I don’t even know what the crucial words in this paragraph MEAN, but I’m delighted that you’ve been thinking about it.  And also these people deciding ‘fuck it, pick him up and throw him’ cracks me right the fuck up.  

Assuming Centauri are being vaguely gentlemanly when they try to kill each other, is there a bunch of stuff that changes because the anatomy is different?  Are we talking about Centauri?  We had better be, I feel like it is the only reason you would be blaming this on me. 

 Like, is it considered not cool to stab someone in the crotch in fencing?  Normal human fencing, that is.  Is that a low blow and/or inelegant cheating?  Because with Centauri you have that problem multiplied by six and relocated sort of really inconveniently for flailing sharp blades at each other.  

This possibly explains ‘lift him up and throw him’, I guess.

Um, yeah, please feel free to just reblog this and explain all the things.  I’m pretty sure it won’t be just me that’s down with this information.  

Also, man, I really love when people can bring the shit they know into fandom stuff like this, I think this is super rad. 

answerer-avatar

youcouldwinahabit:

well one of the main things is that centauri don’t have any major arteries in their wrists so a lot of strikes to the inside of the arm which are common in unarmoured fencing become fairly useless. the shape of the blade in the actual episode was pretty strange too, it was clearly a one-handed weapon but had a very pronounced ricasso (the unsharpened part just above the crossguard), and those are normally used to wrap the index finger around the crossguard on larger blades for better control. i’ve never done a huge amount of shortsword fencing but it looks to me like it would interfere with binds on the strong (where you knock the lower half of the opponent’s blade with the upper half of yours, the half closer to the hand is a lot stronger), since sharp edges stick together while blunt ones slide. also using that grip on a shortsword seems like a bad idea to begin with since you dont end up with a lot of room between the other guy’s blade and your fingers. there might be some obtuse use of italian grip on short blades out there, if not i guess ill have to make something up.

i am using entirely medieval/renaissance sources here, so they were designed for actually being used in fights to the death, and the messer was not a weapon for the upper classes (in strict legal terms it was considered a knife so everyone was allowed to carry it), but there’s a line in paurnfeyndt’s manual describing a counter against a certain wrestle which cracks me up every time: “Stab him through the legs to his testes. ” you could totally stab someone in the crotch. there’s also a line in some tournament book somewhere about unscrewing the pommel and throwing it. oh and leckuchner has a wonderful technique he calles The Unnamed:

Strike to his left side with the Shock Strike / Immediately wrench his hilt with yours / let your messer drop / and grasp with your right turning over / his right hand / twist yourself around / with your left side on his right / step with the left foot before his right / and pull the arm onto your chest / strike your left over his right / plant yourself with strength / spring to the right side / thus you break his arm. If you would then throw and hold so that he can’t stand up / then fall just as you twist yourself / onto your arse / thus he must fall with you.

all bets were off, pretty much. since centauri still actually do judicial duels, it makes sense for the vast majority of their techniques to be firmly rooted in fucking the other guy up as quickly as possible. i’m still looking through sources, probably going to look into falchion and rondel techniques next.

GUYS LOOK AT THIS

I’m gonna need to get a fencing glossary, but look at this!  I love this bit about the lack of major veins and thus lots of bleeding potential in the wrists of Centauri rendering a lot of moves useless, that’s fantastic!  (I wonder about how that works out for them as often as I try to figure out the rest of their anatomy, though.  Maybe the vein is just on top of the arm or something.  I WANT TO SORT ALL OF THIS OUT, AUGH.)

I love all this?  I have this vision of fencing as super elegant, but this is like some professional wrestling right here.  People on the sidelines yelling ‘give him the chair!’ as you’re stabbing people in their junk, breaking their arms, and making them ass-fall with you. 

I don’t remember what episode this fencing stuff was even in, so I can’t go look at it.  Did they just choreograph it to look strange or is it a pretty straight up 'human’ approach to things?   I ask this like I would even know the fucking difference.  

asker-avatar
option-monad asked: well from looking at treatises on the messer, which is the only kind of one-handed sword used without a buckler i can find, theres a reasonable amount of wrestling done with the open hand. "Immediately let your messer drop / grab him with your right hand or arm wending outward in the crook of his left knee / lift him up and throw him. " dorks rolling around on the floor.

I don’t even know what the crucial words in this paragraph MEAN, but I’m delighted that you’ve been thinking about it.  And also these people deciding ‘fuck it, pick him up and throw him’ cracks me right the fuck up.  

Assuming Centauri are being vaguely gentlemanly when they try to kill each other, is there a bunch of stuff that changes because the anatomy is different?  Are we talking about Centauri?  We had better be, I feel like it is the only reason you would be blaming this on me. 

 Like, is it considered not cool to stab someone in the crotch in fencing?  Normal human fencing, that is.  Is that a low blow and/or inelegant cheating?  Because with Centauri you have that problem multiplied by six and relocated sort of really inconveniently for flailing sharp blades at each other.  

This possibly explains 'lift him up and throw him’, I guess.

Um, yeah, please feel free to just reblog this and explain all the things.  I’m pretty sure it won’t be just me that’s down with this information.  

Also, man, I really love when people can bring the shit they know into fandom stuff like this, I think this is super rad. 

asker-avatar
option-monad asked: ive spent the past three hours trying to build a shortsword fencing form for aliens and this is entirely your fault. can you imagine some 16th century asshole writing his god damn fencing manuals thinking "maybe in 500 years time some nerd is going to use this to make alien sword fights". someone attach a turbine to liechtenauer. londo teaching g'kar centauri fencing techniques. im done. im out. goodbye.
image


8D 8D 8D 8D

YOU ARE NOT DONE, NOR ARE YOU OUT.  FEEL FREE TO EXPAND ON THIS TOPIC AT ANY TIME.

Because oh my god, I really love them teaching each other shit that both fosters some kind of weird understanding and unsettles/disgusts everyone on Centauri Prime. 

Londo teaching G'Kar fencing~*~*~*~  i love that almost as much as the dancing, yes, yes, yay~

I’m also super into the idea of G'Kar trying to teach Londo to speak Narn and just laughing his way through the whole thing listening to Londo’s super fancy Centauri accent mangle his way through Narn pronouns and like, colors. 

After I finish something that big, it’s like coming up for internet air like, ‘Wow, okay, what happened in the world while I was gone?  It’s dark now, okay, okay, cool.  That tag updated on Tumblr, rad, okay, yes.  Breathing still a thing?  Alright.  Moving on.“

I’m so in love with the idea of these two making people uncomfortable in the palace on Centauri Prime by having G'Kar learn all their oldest traditional dances that I’m practically married to it.
This could be what they needed clothes for G'Kar for...

I’m so in love with the idea of these two making people uncomfortable in the palace on Centauri Prime by having G'Kar learn all their oldest traditional dances that I’m practically married to it. 

This could be what they needed clothes for G'Kar for in the fruit hat comic. 

Things I am also married to: fancy clothes, sparkles. 

So, like, this is what I’m doing every weekend now, apparently. Just making this man more ridiculously opulent than already was.

So, like, this is what I’m doing every weekend now, apparently.  Just making this man more ridiculously opulent than already was.

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