I need all the ones that look like lotuses.
(via walrus-queen)
kuttithevangu replied to your post: Aww man I’m sorry to hear that you get ashamed of…
i’m another one who has these kinds of feelings! a lot of the time, too, for me, it’s thinking “people are going to read sexuality into this”, another asexual problem :/
Yeeeah, I feel this. For me this happens a lot more with my personal artwork, since Banshee is so often topless. I do a lot to make sure that her nudity is not sexualized, objectified, or fetishized in any way, but what inevitably happens when some people see my portfolio of work? They poke her boobs on the page and ‘ooooh, my nephew would love this, look at her tits’ and I’m just repulsed. Part of that is that it’s Banshee, and she’s extremely personal and the idea of people viewing her that way makes my skin crawl and the contents of my stomach spring into my throat, but another is some extreme frustration that there seems to be so little I can do to counter a mentality of 'Everything is just rampant sexuality.’ I often feel like angry porn is a more fandom acceptable way to express your love for some kind of ship thing than cute hugs or whatever. This is some heavily woven in shit to untangle.
I am so with you friend. I’m sorry we’re both in it at all, but together is better than alone, ja?
(via tinsnip)
umadashibayashi asked: Aww man I'm sorry to hear that you get ashamed of stuff you post - that happens to me, too sometimes, and it's a bit comforting to know others feel the same way x_x I'm so happy to see your art, and I'd like you to know that I appreciate your courage in posting it <3
Thanks!
It’s a bit of a weird thing to explain to people, because their first instinct is to say, ‘But you’re so good!’, and then I have to say it’s not shame at my level of skill that triggers it, it’s the content of the image and what I think it might say about me, and thus how that will then be seen by others. (This is why it’s really hard for me to post writing too, because I’m terrified of that being even more transparent or something.) I’m trying to focus more on the people like you who are saying you’re happy seeing it, but inevitably, I think more of some imagined people (or even friends!) who are thinking, 'Ugh, everything she thinks about this is stupid and wrong’ or 'Look at how obvious it is that she likes this particular trope’ or something like, 'Look how childish she is because she doesn’t paint porn’ (which is maybe more an asexual spectrum bleedover problem than an art problem, but I’m throwing it out there). Interacting with other enthusiastic people really helps, which is why I love Livestream and running with random ass suggestions like fruit hats so much, haha.
ANYWAY, I’m glad that me talking about it is somewhat comforting to you! Reassuring other people who might be as wigged out as I am was kind of my goal in mentioning it at all, so hooray and Thank You for the nice words!
Anonymous asked: Thank you for posting all your lovely art! <3
Oh, Anon, you are welcome, but really more like Thank You for sending this message~~
It’s super nice to get this kind of thing and see that people are thankful and excited and not massively annoyed or laughing at me. I’m still getting some super strong flashes of shame whenever I pass the sleeping drawing on my dash or on my own blog, and it’s really hard to keep it ON my blog. Most of what keeps it there is that people have reblogged it and said lovely things so it’s not like I can remove it from the internet anyway, haha.
So a thanks for posting is really nice. :)
I want to respond a bit more directly to several people who reblogged my bits of talk about being a person carrying around massive shame, because nice things were said all around and we could probably have a saying nice things party.
Which will be a brief change from my trend lately of ‘crying over londo mollari’ parties.
Thank you again, Anon, I’m so glad you like what I make~!
I threw a combination of four fairly random ingredients onto a cookie sheet and threw them into the oven, I hope this works out, haha.
I can’t stop thinking about how this month is the tenth anniversary of my SWAN stuff. I want to do an art on the appropriate day (the 22nd, thankfully, so I won’t be posting from Gallifrey), but I’m just sort of baffled and confused that it was that long ago and that there are still people looking at it, finding it, remembering it.
This is also perhaps the reassurance some of you might need that I never stop loving something and never truly leave something once I really love it, haha. Ten fucking years later and my most recent sketchbook has SWAN!Johnny in it a million times.
Brace yourselves for some kind of weird feelings post about it on the 22nd, probably with pictures and shit because that’s how I roll. I’ve been thinking about it and how it’s still having all these echoes and ripples through my fandom stuff, and my original work, and even just generically my life. So, so, so much changed because I was brave enough to put that thing up and keep it going. Sometimes, it’s thinking about what happened because I made SWAN that makes me post other things that terrify or embarrass me, because I never could have imagined what would come directly out of putting together some of the weirdest shit imaginable.
I need to sit and scan all these dorky as fuck doodles eventually. Tiny dancing and complaining and sleepovers.
Me: *mentions favorite tv show*
Friend: “I’ve never seen that befo-“
Me:
(via radioactivesoup)
Star Trek DS9 Extra - Julian Bashir
I know many of the DS9 fans enjoy the character of Bashir or the actor Alexander Siddig or both. So here’s a recently uploaded BTS video that I came across. Not surprisingly, both Siddig and Andrew Robinson talk about the importance of the interaction between Bashir and Garak.
(via ds9appreciation)
