sttngfashion:

You guys—Season 7. What a romp. I’d like to say they were all like #fuckit because they knew it was their last season but the actors were all contracted for Season 8, so I guess they were more like #fuckit because they were boss popular. (No, seriously, this episode was the 9th most popular of Star Trek EVER to air, of all the series. It carried a 12.8 rating… in comparison, Empire, the top show last week, scored a 4.4 [also if I have totally misinterpreted how Nielsen Ratings work and someone wants to correct me, please do]).

This episode starts with Worf being really Worfy, coming back from a competition that he’s DOMINATED at (because #Worf), and he gives a personal log entry that sounds like a Hemingway parody.

Actual dialogue: “The conditions were difficult. Several contenders were maimed. But I was triumphant. I won Champion Standing.” He forgot to add “It was raining.”

When he gets back to the ship, he’s super out of it but at first I didn’t get that and started fantasizing that the episode had been directed by David Lynch.

Actual dialogue: “What’s the matter, Mr. Worf?” “It’s my birthday.”

My disappointment that it was not Lynchian notwithstanding, this episode was a favorite of mine from way back when, ostensibly for its stance on quantum physics but now having re-watched it, I know it’s for another reason. We’ll get to that later.

The birthday discussion is essentially Worf being like “I don’t want a surprise party,” and Rikes being like “I HATE surprise parties” (which, like, if my Lynch theory proved true, would have been very appropriate). So Worf just waltzes into his room…

Gotta make sure my lethal trophy is positioned just right. Actually, who am I kidding, what trophy worth winning isn’t lethal?

Heads up, there’s not a toooon of fashion up in here, but there is some exciting interior decorating decisions. Can we talk about that red accent light on the shield there? And what about that statue that looks like it’s the Treehouse from Adventure Time, but in gunmetal? It looks like some sort of really advanced and oversized sex toy. I’m just saying that neither of those decisions look like ones that Worf would make. Maybe a stereotypical gay Klingon. I mean, a stereotyped gay who happened to be a Klingon. Hold on a second. [Five minutes pass] Yep, I definitely just fell into a Klingon slash fic spiral. Yikes! NSFW but this one was WHAT. Where was I? Oh right. Worf, whoever decorated that apartment has a flair for the dramatic. 

Also, of course there’s a surprise party.

The expression on his face is priceless.

A few things to notice here, from left to right. 1) Bev is SO excited that her hair is literally rising up into a Mary Tyler Moore-style flip. 2) That ensign is earning an A++ for giving it her all and making that hat work, unlike the other extra who was forced to wear a hat, over in blue on the right. 3) Who decided that what they really needed for a Klingon birthday was gold party hats with furry fringes and an oversize balloon with stars on it? At least make sure the decorations are thematically appropriate. 4) Marina Sirtis might be just genuinely having a great time. Get it.

Mooooooom.

Okay but seriously whose idea was it to have oversize star shaped balloons? Unless that thing is really shaped like a Batleth and I just can’t see it from this angle. Also in case you don’t know they are singing “For he’s a jolly good fellow” in Klingon, even though there’s no real translation for “jolly.” #getit? #klingonsbeserious

That time when Worf punched Riker in the mouth.

Also, can we talk about that CAKE? I like that it’s all urban grunge to make it clear it’s rough and manly like Worf and also made out of chocolate like… wait a second.

It’s like being brought a delicious chocolate cake by the most beautiful golden retriever.

Another accent light? And more balloons? But that cake still looks real good.

They were out of wrapping paper so I took the backdrop from the guy who was here doing school pictures. Also I found a giant bow, because I thought you’d like it.

Notice that there’s some big up hair going on in the background. I can’t say for sure that we haven’t seen this style before, but I think we can agree that she’d be much more appreciative of this gift than Worf.

What is it?

An original abstract painting by a robot? It’s only 22 years early for being the hottest new hipster collectible. Or… 355 years too late, depending on how you feel about these sorts of things.

I’m pretty sure that if you were a Klingon and a bunch of people who you weren’t related to came over to your house, scared the shit out of you and then forcibly redecorated your apartment with overzealous artwork, you would murder them and then drink their blood.

Worf gets a present from his son, Alexander.

Both a memento and also useful for storing potpourri.

It’s a head cast which is weird until you remember that people on earth bronze their baby’s shoes. 

What follows is a delightful series of Picard facial expressions.

Mmmm…

Did you make this?

*Increase Picard Charm Setting to 100%*

*Increase Picard Charm Setting to 110%*

Additionally in this series, the two extras who are behind Picard. Ah, the classic timeless story of butch lesbian meets high fem girl, butch lesbian thinks she’s totally gonna score with high fem girl, high fem girl demurely but firmly explains that she’s “not into her that way,” butch lesbian finishes cake awkwardly while high fem girl takes a big sip of her cocktail.

Also you guys the BALLOONS. What was this party planning session like? “I think we should have some balloons.” “How many?” “Oh, like, thirty.” “What size?” “I mean, I guess really fucking big.” “Okay, color?” “Well, it’s for Worf, so… pink.”

And, of course, another accent light on the weapons. Maybe Worf is worried no one will notice the weapons on the wall if they’re not drenched in the red blood light of his enemies.

Okay, so Fast Forward to later when Worf gets dizzy and some weird shit starts happening so he goes to see Beverly and she’s like “when did it start” and he was like “when I returned victorious” and she was like, “Girl, you did not return victorious” and then they went to his quarters where Data’s hideous painting was in the background, but his first place trophy was gone.

Death blades on trophies are for closers, Worf.

This is what a ninth place trophy looks like. What kind of competition gives out ninth place trophies? YOU LOST, WORF.

Okay, so, and then, Cardassians for a second.

This is less a chestpiece and more a shoulders, nips and crotchpiece. I mean. I guess it works.

I mean, that’s it really.

This next bit is probably the most fashiony we get.

I asked for turn-down service on my BED not on my DRESS.

We’ve seen this dress before in Season 3, but where in that episode, where Troi was wearing the dress, here it’s more like the dress is wearing her. Don’t get me wrong: long sleeves and bare shoulders is still working for me, but the waistseam doesn’t need to be so obviouspants but whatever. 

The best thing about this outfit/hair combo is that it gives us a lot of good soap opera/romance novel screengrabs.

We have fun.

Worf’s painting also changes.

Is Worf a thirteen-year-old human boy from 1992? No? Then this is not appropriate.

It seems to me that this would be the equivalent of giving an oversize painting of a Zero bomber to a Japanese-American soldier who just finished fighting in Europe. #tacky Nice nebula though.

The anxious side-eye, weirdly, is for Worf, and not for the painting.

This is another one of those sudden changes that happen to Worf, and the first thing he notices is Deanna’s hair. Then her dress. I’m surprised he didn’t say “Your blush tones have shifted!”

And then suddenly Worf finds himself on a space bridge. I mean, spacier than the normal bridge.

You know what this bridge needs: a headlight right above the captain’s chair.

Shit is gettin’ cray but YOU AIN’T SEEN NOTHING YET. Worf is all discombobulated from this crazy shifts in time and space and so he relieves himself of duty and goes to his quarters and Deanna drops by to see how he’s doing.

Although in this dress it’s more like “How YOU doin’…”

This is a familiar piece from at least as far back as season 3, though I did some side-by-side comparisons, and either it’s a different dress or Marina had some work done. NO JUDGMENTS.

So Worf is like “I’m fine, go away” and she’s like, “What? No, come sit on the bed.” And then we’re treated to another fantastic series of screengrabs.

This is… odd…

You’re right, I have been a little stressed out.

Oh, you want to tell me a secret?

GAAAAHH!

He actually makes a pretty funny noise here. Worf is #crushingit with the facial expressions this episode. So, in this alternate reality, Troi is his wife, which would explain the gentle undulating curves of that hideous wall sculpture (note that the red accent lights do not change from reality to reality… some things are constant). 

Also Troi let Worf’s hair down but we can’t really see it until now.

ELGINIZED

I’m sure I must have seen his hair down before—at the very least, when I watched this episode the first time—but I was just stunned by its luxuriousness. I took way more screengrabs than necessary because LOOK AT HIS HAIR. 

This is not the hair of a warrior… this is the hair of a showpony. And I like it.

Okay, so meanwhile Geordi died, which means we have to conduct his autopsy in Sickbay in the midst of all his friends while his junk is only covered by—say it with me, folks—a sparkly loincloth.

LBR, though: the sparkly loincloth works better with Geordi’s skintone.

Also Worf is the first mate now because #quantumreality.

Not only does he look good in red, but it makes his light brown highlights pop.

I’m into these alternate-reality communicators. I didn’t even notice last time I saw this ep that the communicators have the same number of gold bars as their rank. Data, who is a Lt. Cmdr., and thus two solid gold pips and one hollow one, even has a silver bar for his half-pip. GOOD ATTENTION TO DETAIL, GUYS.

Wait a second, if Worf is the First Mate… who’s the captain?

I’m the captain now and to prove it I’ve brought my only possession into the Captain’s Ready Room: my bone. Oh, and this brass instrument I play. [plays rimshot on deceased Picard’s desk]

That’s all. Anything else weird in this reality?

In this reality there is even MORE accent lighting.

Wait a second, who is that up there?

I can’t believe I never made it off this fucking ship.

So, wait, Riker replaces Picard, Worf replaces Riker, and to replace Worf they get Wesley? Tasha Yar is spinning in her grave… which is in the future? So will have spun? Or… willan on-spinning? See this for help with time-travel tense. Anyway, I’m glad Wes got one of the classy back-zip uniforms and not one of the front-zips they usually make the extras wear. Though it’s clear that his hasn’t been through the plasma washing machine as many times as Data’s

Didn’t use Cheer™ with Colorsafe Technology.

Okay, so to cut to the chase there are a million different quantum realities and Worf is skipping through them. Then a Bajoran ship comes and fires on the Enterprise (though we don’t see the other ship at all, Riker’s just like “Oh crap, Bajorans”, which, come on guys) and then all of the alternate realities start crashing into each other.

I call it “Three Enterprise Moon.” Somebody get this on an oversize shirt, stat.

But there are way more than three.

More like NCC-1701-∞, AMIRITE? #nerdhumor

The only fix is for Worf to go back through the rift or whatevertheshit he came through, but he has a teary goodbye with Deanna who omg maybe he has #feelings for now! One last series:

It’s like some beautiful photo-negative sci-fi reinterpretation of The Bodyguard. If you’re not already singing “I Will Always Love You” in your brain then you are dead in your heart.

So this is almost it except it’s not… someone fires on Worf.

Riker as Lumbersexual. Not not into it.

They don’t want to go back to their reality because, well, look at it. So, I guess it’s more of a five-seconds-from-being-destroyed-and-the-universe-is-a-burning-hellscape-of-its-former-self-sexual. Still not not into it.

They’re not, like, a real threat though, and Worf does his thing and we get this shot which might be my favorite of the episode?

WORFS ON WORFS ON WORFS ON WORFS.

I’m only slightly disappointed that they didn’t throw in any Doctor Worfs or like, crazy outfit Worfs. I do, however, love Bored Worf all the way in the back. “UGH ARE WE THERE YET? THERE BEING MY APPROPRIATE QUANTUM REALITY. I’M SO BORRRRED.”

The kicker is that Worf gets back to his quarters “on his birthday” because #spacetime and there’s no surprise party, just Deanna.

I got you this gift and wrapped it as if you were the prettiest ballerina.

For someone who possesses a certain amount of telepathy, she really misjudged the sparkly Easter basket grass. On the other hand…

Maybe I am the prettiest ballerina. Maybe I am.

Well, at least we know who planned the surprise party.

(Oh and this begins the crazy-awesome Worf/Troi romance subplot, which is why I love this episode.)

(via tinsnip)

hatepig:

b5cosplay:

The first medal is finished! Below is a side-by-side comparison: original costume on the left, and my recreation on the right. I didn’t rotate the square button quite enough, but unfortunately didn’t realize until the glue was dry. Even so, I think it’s a good match that will read well!

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ladyyatexel this feels relevant to your art interests

gods yes i need more obsessive fiddly bits

(via hatepig)