loudst:

Ok, this is a true story.

My significant other and I have had a very tumultuous love life starting out. Which is OK, because finding a balance is hard for everyone, and there’s bound to be some rough patches. Especially when one partner is asexual.

I had been out about my asexuality for a long time before my SO and I ever met in person, and it was not something they were insensitive about. They loved and cared for me, and continue to do so to this day. Our relationship started out platonic but quickly got “intimate”, and before long it became sexual. I was scared at first, but comfortable enough with my SO to try; and I liked it a lot to be honest.

But there were several points in our relationship where I was repulsed by sex, where I did not want to be in a sexual relationship. Which is completely ok, but…

When I told my SO, they reacted in a very distraught way. Saying that sex was a way of showing they loved me, that it was emotional and important to them and to stop would take away a lot of intimacy from the relationship. 
I cried, I shut down, and I swallowed my feelings—my discomfort. I was scared to be so heartless towards my SO, I didn’t want them to think I didn’t love them.

It was unhealthy, and I wish I had known the inner workings of this misunderstanding back when it could have saved us a lot of strife.

Every time I had heard asexuals talked about, there was always an asterisk, a little aside saying, “They can [sometimes] have sex to please their partner, if they love their partner, ect.”

And in hindsight, I see how the priority was placed on the sexual partner in adding that little aside. How the focal point had been skewed from asexuality being valued, to an asexual’s ability to comply sexually being valued.

“An asexual person can have sex to please their partner." 
This sentence is not enough. If this is all you’re willing to say, then don’t say it at all. This sentence can be twisted and manipulated by so many means to say, “If you care about your partner, you will have sex with them.”

And that hurts.

(via feltelures)

Okay, it’s Stream Time, because I am just full of flailing about television now, evidently, so I have to channel this somewhere.  

it’s still space blow, but it will now be accomanpanied by me howling about tv with people? 

this is what i do everytime, but I FEEL IT ESPECIALLY this time.

hatepig replied to your post:oh my god steven universe?~?~?!?!?!!   i love…

DID YOU SEE ALONE TOGETHER IT’S HAD ME MELTING INTO A HAPPY PUDDLE ALL DAY

YES YES THAT IS WHAT I WAS YELLING ABOUT, because goddamn, when that shit started, I was like, Oh, bleh, a ‘developing romance between preteens’ episode, and then IT WAS AMAZING AND I am as much overwhelmed by what was there as I am by what WASN’T, wow, wow, wow. 

I stopped halfway through to send my brother a flurry of exclamation marks via text message.  

This is the benefit of knowing someone in person who likes the shit you do, haha.  I had no one to text as I watched the Londo thing spiral into Awful Town.   

Also, the other day, I saw someone lamenting about their G'Kar and Londo feelings and they were like, “So, fuck me, now my thing is this pair of unattractive middle aged aliens - some kind of reptilian marsupial thing and a loud tentacle monster,” and I just laughed about that all day today.

protector-of-the-small:

ladyyatexel:

oh my god steven universe?~?~?!?!?!!  

i love this show the more i see it, holy fucking shit!

This post made my day
It’s such a good show

Oh, it so is.  It feels so fucking refreshing watching it?  You know how there are some (Read: Most) shows where you sit back and think, “Boy howdy, a man sure wrote this.”  

This show it’s like I’m screaming with every one of them, “A WOMAN IS IN CHARGE OF THIS AND IT IS AMAZING AND I CAN FEEL IT.”

The latest episode with the fusion thing, and that there was not once a gross joke, that everyone was weirdly taken with this person and enchanted with them and what is gender we don’t even know, but this person is amazing and regardless of our own preferences, we’re all attracted to this big bright personality??  SCREAMING.  

And then I think I shipped a gem or two, and I thought, ‘Fuck, people have got to stop screaming at teenage girls (and other age girls. and people. but mostly teenage girls) for shipping two dudes when they’re the only ones being well written like 80% of the time!’  Two well-written ladies show up, and -SHOCK- it’s like suddenly I can be interested in their relationships because they’re PEOPLE and AUGH, I have already screamed about Sadie and how she’s short and square and not at all 'female love interest’-shaped according to every other media, and she spent one episode super hairy and living in the jungle and LARS STILL WANTED TO KISS HER and I fucking cried about it

AND AMETHYST AND ROSE ARE FAT LADIES AND THEY’RE BOTH BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING AND I SCREAM

I should do more with the Gem doodles in my sketchbook, probably.

January is Lady Has Extreme Feelings About Television month, please enjoy your stay and look forward to February: Much The Same As January, But With Flying To California Month

(via jewishdragon)