indigobluerose replied to your post:I’m trying to find my painkiller and got really…

Your liking the thing is so wonderful to see on my dash!

That is comforting, it really is!  I am trying, but I struggle a lot with this stuff, so bits of support are really helpful and meaningful to me.

 I have been ashamed of my enthusiasm all my life as far as I can remember, and I’m trying to let myself always be blindly enthusiastic, but it does not always work.  The checks I’ve imposed on myself through repeated reinforcement from family and friends growing up just lock me down more often than not.  Even when I tell myself it’s okay to enjoy myself alone, I won’t show anyone else, that I’ll just keep everything in my sketchbook, I get too ashamed of myself even then and just don’t even draw.  Like I’m carrying some little avatar of all the people who have ever mocked me inside of me and I have to hide from even that.

The stuff you guys see on Tumblr are the things that get through like six increasingly fine filters of ‘No, it’s weird and you’re wrong and people are going to make fun of you and everyone disapproves of the way you love things and is going to think less of you because of it’.   Though it’s easier here because I don’t know 98% of you.  

And then I struggle to go the other way and moderate shit so I don’t burn out once I give myself the permission to love something.   I desperately wish I knew the direct source of this shit so I could just shut it off.  

/tragic backstory

theboykingsbrokencrown:

We all have that one character we’re in too deep for.

(via tinsnip)

atomic-mayonnaise:

Should I bother trying to track down the DS9 comics?

I have several, and they are hilarity. I don’t know that they were MEANT to be hilarity, however, so take that for what it’s worth.

I posted the contents of two of the comics I have on tumblr somewhere, actually! Let me know if you want me to track them down if you want to see a sample.

(via tinsnip)

I’m trying to find my painkiller and got really excited when I saw the container, but it’s not the painkiller it’s fucking LIQUID FRISKET. 

In other news, I guess I’m going to paint tonight.  Have not decided digital or traditional, or even what I’m painting.  I’m doing that thing where I’m having a weird tug between, ‘whee, i like this new thing/oh god i like the thing too much, i’m horrible and ashamed of myself’ and guilt that I am not doing older things, so i just do nothing.  

birdystark:

when you catch yourself drawing on the wrong layer

(via noodle-is-gudle)