i keep saying, ‘okay, for real, i’m leaving in ten minutes’

but ~real internet~

wtfplus:

wtfplus:

wtfplus:

the time has come- a sad day for me, and a potentially happy one for you. i’m doing a giveaway of one of the dresses from my holy grail list, which i (happily) found by talking to someone on instagram, but it just didn’t work out for me. it fits me (kind of), but it’s basically a sleeveless tunic on me because i’m so tall (and it’s like, a juniors 2X and i’m an adult size 28), and i’m not really a sleeveless tunic kind of broad.

the dress in question is the nanette lepore l’amourbaby doll dress in ‘multi cloud’ in a size 2x (from jc penney in 2013)

the dress was new with tags when it came to me, and i wore it one time (over a black t-shirt) to pick up takeout, and never again, so it’s basically new but with the bonus of maybe having some of my essence on it. my bust/waist/hip measurements are like 59-61-66 and it was a littttttle tight in the bust and gave me a uniboob, but it still fit and didn’t look weird.  it also just barely covered my hips, from a combination of it being short/me being tall/me being way bigger than old nanette intended.

the dress’ measurements are as follows (flat, so double them):
bust: 21.5” unstretched
waist: 18” unstretched (24ish inches stretched, i didn’t have anyone to help me so there’s probably more. it fit me under my bust which is like 58 inches)
hip: basically free, but 28” unstretched
length: 33” from the back of the neck to the bottom of the skirt

i would say this would fit a size 20/22 most comfortably, and probably still look like a dress on a size 24/26 who is short and has medium hoots, and it could fit someone my size like a tunic. also if you are a size 30+ and want to enter to keep other people from having it because you’re mad it didn’t come in your size, please do, cause that shit sucks and spite is cool ! but i probably won’t pick you. i didn’t take any pictures of me wearing it, but a few of my favorite people have worn it and looked cool- ohkellybelly and erin from zero style.

giveaway terms and conditions:
- reblog this post with an outfit you picked out for me. hahaha i’m an egomaniac ! the items in the outfit have to actually come in a US size 28 (UK 30/32. asos curve is okay because their US 22/24 fit me), be available at the time you post them, and cost me under $150 if i bought it- this doesn’t have to include shoes or accessories, but you can add those if you still have ‘money’ leftover. please note this doesn’t mean you have to buy me a real outfit unless you’re a billionaire philanthropist.
- winner will be chosen based on my favorite outfit. the outfit can be appropriate for any occasion (like, anywhere between having beach sex with the creature from the black lagoon to the creature from the black lagoon’s funeral or some scenario creech isn’t even in, if you can think of one, which i personally can’t). you don’t have to adhere EXACTLY to this, but as a guideline, my likes include a-line dresses and skirts, horizontal stripes, floral prints, boat necks/wide scoops, poofy sleeves, stuff with actual animals printed on it (not animal print). think sloppy audrey horne or fat audrey hepburn or this picture of audrey meadows. dislikes include rockabilly/pin-up anything (no skulls, cherries, halter tops), words on anything, shoes with heels, tomato red, rhinestones/embroidery, maxi dresses, sleeveless/tube tops, light denim, makeup/anything that has like, lipstick tubes printed on it. think of me as ‘someone who has never slammed in the back of a dragula’.
- alternately, if you don’t have a tumblr, send me an e-mail (found on the contact page). please don’t send me an ask or fanmail with your answer because the ask feature sux and is confusing to my peanut brain
- you do NOT have to follow my blog to win, i think it is weird to blackmail people with goods. you do NOT have to ‘like’ this post to win, unless you actually like it. even then you don’t HAVE to but that would be nice. it’s nice to be nice.
- you PROBABLY should wear a size close to the size of this dress, otherwise you are being a butt to people who fit in this dress.
- if you win and the dress doesn’t fit you, consider paying it forward. you COULD sell it on ebay or something but would the $60 you got for it be as sweet as making another fat person’s day?! maybe, if you buy donuts with that $60, which is what i would do. 
- you can enter if you live anywhere in the world but if you live in like, francylvania or something you will have to wait until june for me to ship it cause i’m kind of broke.
- deadline is friday, may 23, 2014, and i will announce the winner on monday, may 26, 2014

this giveaway is not sponsored or anything, and this is a dress i bought with my own money and am passin’ on.

the deadline is 5pm EST this friday, may 23 ! i just want to note that you can enter multiple times/reblog this/email me with other outfits to increase your chances if you feel like it, because someone else did that and it was cool. haha.

5pm EST today ! i’ve been posting all the entries on my personal blog and will post the rest over the weekend (so as not to clog this one up) if any other size 28s want some outfit ideas. winner will be announced monday ! i also decided there’s going to be a second place prize because so many people tried so hard, and also i got a check with overtime pay from working all last weekend so i’m feeling generous.

Should be able to click on these to get to the right page!  I went for something a bit like the dress on offer as far as color and level of wildness because MAN wacky toxic cloud dress is amazing. 

On sale for $32~

So the dress alone is good, but I’d throw on some leggings. 

Because there’s no reason to go black or otherwise neutral when you have a dress like this. 22$

Feeling like too much boobs? 

We got ‘em optionally covered for $23.

Belt? We got one in orange.

Yaaaaaay, colors~

(via wtfplus)

back from job interview, using friend’s internet, some girl in teeny shorts said i was really working my skirt

Exciting adventures~

Gonna try to download and update as much as I can while I’m here.  My phone already updated like 20 applications, and my computer is screaming for updates too. ~finally~

morelikebabedylan:

the thing is though everytime a girl compliments me on a dress/skirt with pockets and I declare THANKS IT HAS POCKETS her response completely changes from “oh that’s nice” to “FUCK ME BACKWARDS ARE YOU FOR REAL SHOW ME SHOW ME THE POCKETS”

(via crowfoot)

dragonsroar:

dude do you ever think about how hard your 11 year old self would shit themselves if they saw your art style now

I think about this all the time. Sometimes I draw pictures just for her.

(via feltelures)

booksandwildthings:

interstellarmage:

i knew this guy in middle school who when asked about his future plans, even by school counselors or teachers would without fail always chant,

KICK ASS, GO TO SPACE
REPRESENT THE HUMAN RACE

i wonder what he’s up to these days.

Looks like Jim Kirk was born a few centuries early…

(via theladyem)