I feel like I’ve got a missing connection or something like I should certainly have the things that I want to communicate in my head because I’m definitely going through some garbage and I have functioning and willing hands but there’s like a tiny piece of metal wire that is not allowing these two systems to connect so even though I’m desperate to communicate and I know that I love and I’m passionate about painting I still just sit here paralyzed like the conditions are not exactly right or like I have two systems ready and willing to function but unable to talk to each other to complete the task

Like my mental and creative conveyor belt just has a fucking hole in it