So last night my girlfriend’s plane got delayed by several several hours and as a result she was no longer going to be able to make a connection to get home.

So I drove her to the airport, went all the way home, and then drove all the way back to the airport once I got word from her that the connection was a no-go. I grabbed her and I took her back to my house and then she had to do laundry because she had zero clothes left since she was planning to leave that day so we had to run a load of laundry which was a two-hour process late Into the Night.

She also had a plane leaving at 7 a.m. and the guy at the airport told her to be there at 5 a.m. which meant we had to wake up at 4

So I drove to the airport at like a quarter to 5 this morning and then came back and then woke up to my alarm 2 hours later and said no fuck that I already told my supervisor I’d be late and gave myself another hour and a half and now I feel kind of the starts of the sore throat kind of cold that my girlfriend have while she was here

Plus I was also going to have to leave work early and addition to getting there late because I have therapy this evening so I said Fuck This Shit I’m Out

I’m fucking wiped out so I just texted my deputy and told her I feel like I’m a member of the undead and now I’m staying home and I’m going to rest and still go to therapy at 5ish because it took me a month to get this appointment 👍👍

It used to be that I would feel guilty because I know that my supervisor has done a whole day’s work after being up at 4 a.m., but lately I’ve been able to tell myself “no you are different people and just because she can do something or feels obligated to do something doesn’t mean you are. She chose to be a supervisor, you’re not getting paid enough to work this hard on zombie sleep. You choose your priorities and she chooses hers. Yours is health when you know you’re in a bad spot and hers is work. Carry on.”

A thing that I have become much better at lately is applying my own standards limits priorities and boundaries to the things I’m doing rather than saying well I’ve seen other people torture themselves for this so I should be able to do it too. I think I get better at it every time I do it. The only guilt I feel is that my girlfriend can’t do the same thing, but this is just a consequence of the way our jobs are set up.

She remains great, I will miss her until late November.