Hey, thanks for sharing this journey with us. You’re awesome and your dolls look amazing. :)

Aww, thanks!   

It’s funny, I don’t know how much sharing I’m doing, or how much journey you’re even seeing, but there’s a lot going on in my brains at least.  I’ve had a headache for three days over it, it’s been pretty intense.  It’s stuff I’ve been thinking about on purpose for a year or more, and stuff I have had flashes of thinking of for far longer.  I used to fill out surveys just in last few years that asked about gender with something like, ‘98% female’ or something like that.  I’ve just been hit with the realization that that percentage changed somewhat abruptly, even if the shift itself has turned out to have been a longer process than I was even really aware of.  (Got me some serious, ‘oh my god, of course’ retrospect happening right now.) And maybe I finally internalized that spending a few years thinking, “I wish I was [gender],” could …mean you are [gender]?  It’s an idea.

I’ve given details to a few friends who have asked, but I think I’ll be keeping what I’ve got going on mostly to myself for a while, at least until it feels like fewer things are just floating around untethered.  I feel a little out of control and panicky, so I think I’ll feel better and be better prepared to dump the non-news of of my identity garbage onto you folks after I’ve had a bit and read some stuff.   I’ve gotta pour it out slowly or something.  It feels both enormous and like nothing at the same time and was really hard for me to come at head on the day I got hit in the guts by a set of pronouns.  I kept crying and getting sick, so it’s been A Lot.  

Thanks for standing by while I recalibrate!  Much appreciated!