Listen, this ask pretty much altered the course of my reality when I got it and I inflicted it upon @invisimort, @indigobluerose and @capncrystal via text message because I needed them to be sent into this spiral with me. 

First of all, as my @capncrystal said: “how DARE that person make EDGAR the weaboo when Jimmy and Tenna are RIGHT THERE”

But oh my god, the tropes he’d be expecting, the painfully awkward person  he’d be.  Even to the rest of the group like, they’d just be stuck like

Like this derails the story, even, god, Johnny is not falling in love with the anime kid.  Everyone just goes home, plot lies abandoned!  Thanks for coming, everyone!  Sucks to be you, Pepito!

Think of all the anime kids you ever knew who made random noises and suddenly ratcheted up the volume for no fucking reason.  Outlandish declarations.  Cat ears. 

“It’s really great the upperclassmen can’t see us, I don’t think I could survive a duel on a roof.”

“You’re telling me there are really no cherry trees?”

“Oh, you’re the comic relief character!  Please be careful, you’re probably going to die.”

Hitting people who say dumb things does not turn out to be nearly as funny as it is in anime, and he keeps waiting for someone to hear something so ridiculous they completely hit the floor.  

He’s confused that no one insists upon testing his skill in battle before joining him in any task. 

Or he’s worried that any game he plays may suddenly escalate into life or death odds.  EDGAR IS WORRIED ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES OF THE SHADOW REALM.  Poker players probably go there after those televised tournaments in Vegas.  

He suspects Devi may be important because she has Specific Hair In Fantastic Color. 

But then like god, what did he see?  Did he consume nothing but shoujo stuff?  Is this why he even goes to school?  He figures that is the only place where he will ever fall in love with anyone or have any chance of meeting a magical creature that will give him magic powers?  He believes in the power of his heart and is just really sure that it will happen one day that he’ll find his magical object and instinctively know what to say to activate the legendary power.

Then he goes to school and sorry Edgar, you’re not the magical girl, you’re in love with Hell’s Unwilling Magical Girl and their magical key necklace.

He thinks emotionless assholes are the people he should fall in love with because he knows they once secretly pet a kitten.  

And god, he has really terrible ideas about relationship dynamics.  He’s confused because he’s neither the big masculine one nor the tiny girly crying one because those are the only people allowed to be in relationships and only in that configuration.

He definitely thinks ten year olds are good to set out on fantastic journeys alone and that people will take teenagers with passion very seriously, so that he’s alone does not strike him as odd, though he is sort of confused that the world doesn’t seem to be catering to this structure of things as well as Pokemon did. 

Giant robot pilot is not a career path and like he doesn’t tell anyone but he’s more upset about it the more sure of it he becomes.  

This is such a fucking roller coaster, god.