I don’t think I can stress to you guys enough how much I’m just being terrorized by my supervisor at work.  It started in bits with the homophobia incident, but since my anxiety and everything has spiked because of my eye-issue, she has been on me like vulture on carcass.  Like if the work itself were not bone drilling torture enough, I’m being sniped and poked and prodded and stabbed and pecked at every turn for the tiniest things.  Things are becoming outrageous and my coworkers have become concerned that the situation has gone beyond ‘normal office work operations’ and has crossed over into micromanaging bullying.  

and like every aspect of the job has become a bad trigger for shit with my abusive dad and i recently realized that i freak out when i see my own name now, not for nonbinary reasons, but because no one who uses it ever uses it to tell me something good.  my dad never addressed me by name except to be terrifyingly angry with me.  none of the friends i’ve made since like 2008 call me by it.  i only get called that when i’m Wrong and Failing and Lacking and Incorrect and In So Much Trouble

so getting incessant emails from her with my name on them telling me every tiny thing i have done wrong is like getting stabbed over and over all day

and nonbinary reasons is like, sometimes the person who laid out the clothes last night is not the same gender as the one who wakes up in the morning and then everything is awful and my fucking CHEST is so enormous there is no satisfactory way to deal with it and 

Im’ just kind of in a constant state of some level of distress :)