Talking to my friend on my way out of work, like, ugh, I wish I could just get milk at the hardware store, I don’t want to go to two places, can’t someone have a drivethru. 

Go into the hardware store to buy my giant stash of fucking extension cords and power strips and laugh to my friend that I’m gonna look like a supervillain at the register. 

Bring my evil lair accessories to the man behind the register, he gives me the total and I reach into my bag into the usual place

and present him with a can of Cranberry Bubly that I completely forgot I had put in my bag this morning.  

I stare at the can, processing that it is not my wallet.  “Oh.  I -  okay.  I forgot about that.”

So I went from Super Villain to Super Weird in a fraction of a second.  

And then I forgot to go get milk.