replied to your
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Downstairs neighbor’s daughter and I share the…
I once knew, and have completey forgotten, your meatspace name
Hahaha, mission accomplished.
I don’t share it with many people. I got so used to it only being used when someone was screaming at me or punishing me or telling me some part of me was wrong that about 15 years ago I just didn’t like hearing it anymore at all and I didn’t want it shared widely. I still have kind of a weird relationship with it, and I have had to tell everyone who knows it and feels the need to use it in a professional setting to stop. (I have asked both my therapist and my supervisor to stop using it/putting it in emails, because it feels like I’m being scolded. I also have to beg telephone sales people to stop saying it, even though I know from having been on their end that they’re being graded on how often they say it.)
I don’t hate it? I was named after my dad, who was my primary abuser, so that’s un-great. I’ve considered using my middle name because it’s a unique misspelled/gender-fucked term of endearment in another language, and I’ve actually made an email and a tumblr with the name in case I decide I suddenly need to be someone else.
But I do feel like I would like to hear my regular ass first name more often in positive framing, so I don’t uh, have a panic attack when the lady downstairs yells at her daughter, among other things, but I also am just perfectly thrilled with the number of people over the years who have just been my real honest to fuck friends that just call me Lady. It’s been long enough now that the people who only know me as Lady or call me Lady outnumber the people who call me by the name on my driver’s license!
Got myself stuck haha
