“Thanks for shopping at Store!  Due to the Global Pandemic, and for the safety of both our staff and our customers, please keep your masks on at all times and maintain a social distance of six feet, per CDC guidelines.”

🎶*Maroon 5 plays for a while.  In that moment, we were All in Misery.*

“Summer is here!  We have locked our current prices for the remainder of the season, so you can be sure you’re always getting the same price now that your shopping trips may be less frequent. Thank you for shopping at Store.”

🎶 *Owl City wants to believe the Earth spins slowly. Sense of time has been gone since March.*

“In order to protect the safety of our employees and customers, Store has suspended our return and rain-check polices in order to keep stock on our shelves.  We are sorry for the inconvenience. All sales are final.”

🎶 *slurry of generic pop from 2010 and dissociation in frozen foods*