It has felt really therapeutic to draw all of this Johnny and Edgar that isn’t the current SWAN life stuff.  Not that I don’t adore the current life SWAN pair with every cell in my body, but they’re also, like, an actual couple and playing pretend with the bleeding imagery.  Not that drawing fake blood is any different than drawing real blood, but images of the pair where it is real and there isn’t the whole current life SWAN narrative around them have a lot of really weird ambiguity and tension and I think since my whole life feels like ambiguity, uncertainty and tension at this point, drawing all this has been kind of a release valve on all that build up.  

The current life SWAN pair offer a different kind of comfort that I definitely still need, but having the outlet to convey something close to what is going on is nice.  I find the tension in the drawings strange and exciting and interesting, while the tension in my life just makes me sicker.   

It’s like I’m blood-letting via art or something.