A thing I have learned in the last 22 days is that it was never going to have been possible for me to do the daily October drawing thing while working my office job. That, yeah, I was knocked out by medical shit before when I had body parts literally malfunction on me, but that shit also included time, energy, mental health. The times I couldn’t do it because I was just at a mental energy limit because of how toxic and nightmareish my day job was were times I ‘failed’ because of medical or outside issues just as much as organs staging a mutiny and adjusting to medication. All those years I was unable to do this didn’t make me a bad or unproductive artist and it would have been unhealthy for me to force it, as much as I felt inferior for being unable to produce masterpieces every day.

Have I had a few benefits from doing this? Yeah, for sure. It’s nice to self-regulate discipline sometimes and I’ve made some things I really like and want to see again. I still intend to finish and have been giving myself permission to make them small things since the start.

But I don’t think I’ll ever do it again, even if I miraculously don’t have to work an awful office job again on the other side of the plague.