truly the thing that has most improved my mental wellbeing since my slow motion mental breakdown sophomore year was not actually improving my time management skills and getting more organized or any of those things that ive been bad at my entire life but instead just not glowing with incandescent self loathing and inadequacy because of it. like i still do a ton of shit at the last minute and forget to open important emails and my bedroom is a mess but im sooo much happier because at least i am not constantly stewing in overwhelming guilt because of it.
a lot of adhd hacks and stuff are centered on how to be more productive and organized and how to like cheat your brain into conforming to neurotypical expectations and like! that is useful and we do live in a society so we have to find ways to navigate that and all.
but what really cut down my mental anguish that my adhd was causing by like 80% was going from spending several hours berating myself until i did my task at the last minute, and then spending several hours berating myself afterwards for doing it at the last minute to instead just doing it at the last minute and not punishing myself for it.
sure the common wisdom is not to do things at the last minute but frankly the amount of psychic bullying i have to do to myself to do things any other way isnt worth it.
This. Self-acceptance is hard when the ADHD traits you have are unacceptable to other people (”why don’t you just” “how can you live like” “I can’t stand to see the way you”). But you can take a step back and ask yourself: is this an actual functional problem where the thing doesn’t get done adequately? Or are you mostly managing to do the thing okay, but other people are aesthetically offended by your style and process even though they acknowledge the end result is acceptable?
It turns there are a lot of places in life where you can metaphorically say, “If you don’t like the way I drive, please feel free to get out and walk” to both your inner critics and the outside ones that put those voices in your head.
(via love-lays-bleeding)
