A weird thing I’ve enjoyed about the general solitude that has come with pandemic and being basically in no contact with people long term – other than, uh, not fucking interacting with People – has been that I am less frightened to put things in my sketchbook.

This sounds highly unrelated, but in the Before Time, bringing it with me everywhere also gave me this lingering background buzz of fear that I would lose it or someone would ask to see it and I’d be exposed as someone with hypersoft hyperfixations or something, I guess.

Even feelings of ‘I should draw something else just so this looks better to someone else’ aren’t so much an issue anymore. Now it’s like hey, fuck off, I’ve filled a third of this book with a single subject and I might do that three more times, and since there’s no possibility of anyone ever seeing any of the cute shit I don’t purposefully show them, I am FREE to do this.

one day all of my past terror won’t be seeping into every task I do, but at least I have this little victory, even if it’s somewhat specifically conditional