So here is the shit, as it stands, in something of a list format. Because this is the internet and we like a list:

I have been partially disabled since January of 2021! (It is December of the same year as I write this.) It has involved some real Grade A Terrible Shit about my spine like bone spurs and scoliosis and has been stressful and painful.
One time, I got an injection into my spinal column that accidentally set off a nerve and set my leg flailing like one of those dancing tube guys at a used car lot. I can’t recommend this on the whole.

I do not currently have stable employment. This is rad for my mental health but really not great for most of the other stuff I have going on. Weird how that happens. I’ve applied to work at a real lovely collection of strange places including a funeral home up the road which I don’t think my cover letter sufficiently conveyed my enthusiasm for.


There’s a rental assistance program in my county, but they are Taking Time, hooboy. My landlord has texted me threatening eviction a few times before I calmed him with screenshots that I had applied for this program, but it is still Alarm. The program’s last month is the one I’m currently sitting in and I don’t know what next year is gonna look like.

My laptop, car, and phone all broke within three weeks of each other in October and I had to repair/replace them all, which was basically all of my US$1,500 of emergency savings.

I have an event coming up in February which sounds superfluous and not something I should be asking for, but I’ve been going for ten years, it’s the one chance I get to see some dear friends every year (which didn’t happen this year because of The Plague), I usually sell art there, and this coming year I had promised as a graduation gift to bring along my 18 year old cousin who just got ejected from my aunt and uncle’s house for not being cisgender. We could both really use the trip. We already have our tickets, we just need to get the other stuff to make it happen.

I have, uh, 600 dollars. To last… WHO KNOWS? It’s a surprise! So it’s, also a little spooky. I would need like another 2,000 to not lose my mind or my apartment into February.


I got my food stamps card the other day and was So Fucking Psyched. I’ve definitely eaten some expired food in the last few months so this was real exciting.

I lost insurance and so am coasting by on what’s left of the medication I need. Two of them have already run out and I miss them terribly! Anxiety and insomnia meds were really critical to me functioning well, who would have thought! Me. And my doctor. And like anyone who knows me. ha.


Anyway, I don’t know what’s gonna happen in the next few months.

  • If you enjoy me being on the internet with you and want to throw a coin in the wishing well of my future, that would be rad of you.
  • You can commission me and get something out of it, even. I can paint like a motherfucker and I really like colors.
  • If you are not fussed about what you get in return but like the idea of getting Something, I am Patreon-able. Witness behind the scenes messiness, fanwork from the depths of my harddrive, and really nerdy doll stuff.
  • If you have more direct money throwing desires, I can be Ko-fi’d.
  • If you want Even More Direct, you can skip the middle man and PayPal Me. Just look at my profile picture there, man. Worth the price of admission, surely.

I’m buying nothing but bills and other household needs with the money I have. (Two days ago I bought a white board for a dollar at Dollar Tree so I could leave myself reminders about what foods I need in the kitchen.) So I’m not doing something like buying a laptop or anything.

Some of this fuckery is my fault, some of it isn’t. I’ve been trying really hard to tell myself I deserve help even if I fucked up. I’m hoping some other people feel similarly.


Anyway, I tried to make this at least somewhat entertaining to read. If you felt like donating to me not suffocating in anxiety while waiting for someone to hire me to do something, that would be amazing of you. No ill will if you don’t want to, it’s not my business what you have going on. If you wanna boost this, though, since Tumblr isn’t gonna let it show up anywhere, that’d be pretty cool also.

Thanks, friends! Have a good one!

-Lady