[Deep Dish Nine is a all-human pizza shop-based Star Trek Deep Space Nine AU primarily revolving around Garak/Bashir that I and several other people collectively hallucinated in 2013. It’s been a long time since I’ve had to explain that and it has not become less weird to say. It had its own little mini-fandom for a bit and I made A Lot. }

Nothing I have to offer is finished, and could conceivably end up where it was meant to be in the final thing someday, but as tribute for paying for my meds and January’s rent, I offer what scraps I can.

This was all probably written in 2014 and this is the whole of the document containing it.

Offering 1:

Bus

Julian takes Garak’s hand and tugs him across the parking lot along to the shelter on the corner of the block. Garak can’t help but be a little dismayed.

“…The bus?”

“I know, I know, it’s not the height of romance or anything, but it’s going to be cheaper than a cab. You’ll forgive me when we get there.” Julian grins and squeezes Garak’s hand, but even that doesn’t ease Garak’s skepticism.

“And where is there?”

Julian shakes his head. “Oh, no, you’re not getting it out of me until we get there. Try all you like.”

“Whatever you say.” Garak gives up for the moment. Later, he can casually extract the information with very little effort once Julian is distracted by his phone or whatever else he’s tucked into his bag.

“Just trust me,” Julian says brightly. He rocks back and forth on his heels, still holding Garak’s hand and swinging their hands in an arc to match his heels.

“That would be easier if you weren’t hiding things from me.” Garak smiles at Julian and lets their hands continue the admittedly childish little gesture.

“You have absolutely no room saying that to anyone. In fact, I think you owe me a bus trip without questions.” Julian bumps their shoulders together and, briefly, their hips.

“I will give that some consideration.”

Garak tenses when the bus arrives. Thankfully, Julian is too excited to notice. The bus hisses to a stop and Garak takes a deep breath before reluctantly boarding. This bus does nothing to counter Garak’s perception of public transport as dirty and depressing. Irritated and impatient people stare from garishly patterned seats while Garak reaches into his bag for some change.

“No, don’t,” Julian says, grabbing Garak’s elbow. “I’ll get it.”

There’s a small struggle for control of Garak’s arm. “Julian, it’s fine, you –“

“I’ve got it.” Juliandrops his coins into the slot, blinking purposefully at Garak as each one clinks into the fare collector. Garak accepts the slip of paper from the driver with a sigh. It’s awful seeing Julian spend money unnecessarily, especially on him. Julian doesn’t have much disposable income and the few dollars Julian spent to send them to who knows where on a dirty bus could have bought him a lunch later.

Garak takes hold of one of the overhead straps as the bus pulls away from the shelter, but Julian settles into one of the seats near the front and pats the seat beside him, grinning.

Garak gives him an acknowledging nod and a smile. “Thank you, but I think I’d prefer to stand.”

“It’s a long way, Garak, come on. Sit with me.”

“‘Long way’?” He tilts his head, raises his eyebrows, and looks altogether too innocent and curious. Anything for a clue as to where they are headed. “How long?”

“Long enough that you’ll regret not taking a seat. Now stop being ridiculous and sit down.”

Garak releases his hold on the strap above him and takes a seat next to Julian, who shuffles close and gets comfortable against Garak’s shoulder. Bus or no, Julian very clearly enjoying being next to him is never unpleasant. The half-crazed-looking man sitting across from them, however, is. Garak tries not to make eye-contact with him.

“Will you relax? What’s the matter with you?” Julian’s frowning at him now, almost as much as the man across from them is.

“What?”

Julian gently shoves his weight against Garak’s shoulder. “You’re stiff as a board. Lean back, the chair isn’t going to bite you.”

“But it really could do some hideous things to this shirt. How recently do you think it’s been cleaned?”

“It’s fine! It’s just had other people’s backs on it. How bad can that be?”

“You say that, but you know what else it’s had? Babies and children spilling drinks, drunken students vomiting, both those situations reversed…” He casts a glance across the aisle at the wild-eyed man in the rags. “People who have… not bathed recently.”

Julian snickers, even as he tugs on Garak’s arm to get him to stop. “Be nice. Have fun. This will be for your birthday, remember?”

Garak smiles. Dinner and an overnight stay from Julian really had been quite enough for his birthday, and even though they’re on a bus that makes his skin crawl a little, Garak is pleased that Julian wants to do something else with him. It had seemed in the last month or two that Julian was avoiding him and so being with him, for any amount of time, and for any reason, is lovely. He relaxes and leans back into the seat. “Perhaps I’ve hit the grumpy old man threshold and you should just kick me out the door at our next stop.”

Julian gets a bit more comfortable against Garak’s shoulder and laughs. “You’re not that old. Do people not live beyond fifty in Cardassia?

“I could die on this very trip,” Garak says ominously. It’s hard not to smile, though.

“Make sure you tell me how you want to be buried, then,” Julian says, taking out his phone. “I might have to make some calls if you want your ashes scattered over some Cardassian wheat fields or something.”

“Maybe we can donate me to science. I could be your final exam someday!”

Julian playfully hits Garak’s leg with his phone. “Oh, yes, lovely. Finally, I’d be able to saw your face in half and see how your mind works.”

They laugh, and even though they’re trying to keep it quiet, the dirty man across from them grunts and glares. Julian gives the man an exaggerated disapproving frown and then makes quite a show of kissing the side of Garak’s head, just in front of his ear. Dirty man grunts again, but stops his glaring and Garak is left quite pleased, despite bus and public displays of affection. Perhaps Julian is getting to him.

The bus ride continues bumpily along and with each stop, more people depart, leaving Garak to wonder more and more where they are headed. Julian has resorted to playing some sort of game on his phone that Garak can’t follow, and even though he has a book in his bag, reading on buses makes Garak sick. Every time he sighs however, Julian snuggles against him or pats his leg. There are worse things.

Roads are becoming increasingly less familiar, the bus is very nearly empty, and that Julian is so absorbed in his game worries Garak a little. He looks around, trying to figure out where he is, which prompts Julian to respond immediately. He has started to catch onto even the smallest of Garak’s twitches and mannerisms, some that even Garak hadn’t been aware of.

“What’s wrong?” Julian asks. “Aren’t you excited?”

“I’m… cautiously optimistic,” Garak tries. “Are you sure we shouldn’t have stopped by now?”

“I’m positive, just trust me. I looked at this online at least three times this morning.”

“You know,” Garak leans over as though he’s trying to look at Julian’s phone, but speaks softly into Julian’s ear instead, “if I knew where we were going, I could watch for the stop, too.”

Julian grins and swats him away. “Good try, but no. Just get comfortable.” Julian slides forward in his seat a little and twists himself enough to sit with his head on Garak’s shoulder. Garak lets him settle there, but looking at their surroundings, he can’t help but frown a little.

“Comfortable? My dear, we’re on a bus.”

“You’re complaining an awful lot for someone who is getting a gift.”

Garak threads his fingers into Julian’s hair. “Apologies, buses just disagree with me. And I with them, for that matter. What about a hint to keep me occupied?”

Julian shakes his head against Garak’s shoulder, and hums a little when the motion moves Garak’s fingers against his scalp. “Mmm, nope. I’m not clever enough to give you one you won’t figure out.”

“Nonsense, of course you are. You’re the one who’s going to be a doctor. I’m a tailor.”

“Yes, but you’re clever enough to make people actually believe you when you say that. I’m not telling you.”

The roads outside the window become increasingly more rural, and that’s a little concerning. They’ve been on this bus nearly an hour now and Garak doesn’t recognize anything about the area. Still, the sunlight is pleasant and he can press his face into Julian’s hair with no one to witness except perhaps the drunken Bajoran man in the very back of the bus. He never thought himself one for overt public displays of affection, even by Cardassian standards of what is acceptable, but Julian has a history of making Garak a bit weak.

He hopes distantly that this isn’t Julian attempting one last display of affection before going back to ignoring Garak and refusing all of his invites for dinner, movies, and small trips out together. Supposedly-grand gestures are nice, but Garak would happily trade whatever they’re doing today for assurance that he would see Julian for more than a single fleeting lunch break in the coming month.

Suddenly, Julian startles and plasters his hand over Garak’s eyes. “Whoa, don’t look!”

Garak pulls Julian’s arm away almost instinctively. “Look at what?”

“I can’t tell you!” Julian relaxes and his arm drifts back down to his side. “It’s okay, though, it’s gone now.”

“Oh. Are there… advertisements for where we’re going?” Garak can hardly contain a grin as Julian squirms a bit.

“It is really such a problem for me to want to keep this hidden until we get there?”

“I’m only curious.”

“I just don’t want it to be ruined. Please don’t pry?”

“Alright. I’ll wait.” He sighs into Julian’s hair. “How much longer, if I’m allowed to ask that?”

“Oh, not long at all. Fifteen minutes?”

Not long after, the roads begin to look more like they are frequently traveled by people, and the surroundings more like a city. As they drive in, Garak sees a street name that looks familiar and gets a twisting feeling in his stomach. This is Bajor. Properly Bajor, but a large city with many remaining Cardassian residents. It’s population has the highest number of mixed race and cross-cultural families in the country. It’s the city that’s been holding the –

A banner for the Cardassian Film Festival whizzes by.

Oh, no.

Garak looks to Julian, who is distracted by the moving map of their route on his phone. He’s looking up the walking directions to the festival from their bus stop. This is simultaneously incredibly sweet and very painful.

Julian suddenly jumps to his feet and grabs Garak’s hand. “Come on, come on, this is our stop!”

Feigning enthusiasm seems just as bad as explaining why this is not going to work and Garak is utterly torn. He manages an awkward smile and lets Julian drag him up. Julian is positively beaming and now Garak is going to have to explain that they wasted an hour and a half on a bus.

Julian jumps out onto the sidewalk, Garak gives an appreciative bow to the bus driver and when the bus drifts away, Garak’s heart aches with the thought that they will now have to wait for a second one to drag them all the way back, but Julian is nearly bouncing with excitement. “It’s just a few blocks from here, behind that big bunch of buildings there. You’re going to love this.”

“Julian, I… do hope you know what you’re doing.”

“Of course I do! I got us this far! Come on.” He tugs on Garak’s hand and Garak attempts a grin. It might not have fooled Julian if he had been looking closely, but he’s so excited that he’s not looking for the giveaways in Garak’s expression.

They go two blocks, round a corner, and that there is something going on becomes immediately apparent. The signs and banners are now impossible for Garak to pretend he doesn’t notice.

“Is this… what it looks like?” Garak asks slowly.

Julian is grinning so much it’s making Garak’s face hurt. “Yes!”

“Julian, this… is incredibly thoughtful, but it’s been sold out for months. And even if it wasn’t, the tickets are –”

“Really expensive, I know. I hope they’re projecting these films onto sheets of gold.” Julian pulls Garak’s hand, but Garak remains rooted on the spot.

“I don’t think you understand. They won’t be selling any at the door, there’s no student discount, there are not even scalpers on a street corner. If I’d known you were going to try this before we came, we could have avoided the bus trip.”

Julian produces two tickets from his bag. “And waste the money I spent on these?”

He holds one out and in his shock Garak can hardly process the writing on the front. It’s remarkable that he’s still able to form words. “H… how did you get these?”

Julian shrugs. “Extra hours at work, mostly. Nerys knows a guy working for the festival, so I got a slight discount.”

“Extra… hours.” Garak laughs softly, still taking in the reality of the ticket. “Here I thought you were avoiding me because I was about to hit an expiration date.”

“What, you thought I was okay with you at forty-three but forty-four was just too much? Okay on Wednesday, but Thursday is out of the question?”

“Birthdays can have a sobering effect on people. Maybe you were hoping I’d just die waiting around for you.”

“I’m actually not that interested in sawing your head open, sorry. You’ll have to put up with surprise birthday presents a little while longer.”