Anyway adults saying “I don’t know isn’t an answer” is part of the reason I learned to lie and bluff so well.
Really though, what was that about? I don’t know is a valid answer. It communicates very clearly that the child cannot answer your question, and therefore maybe needs more help understanding the question/situation. Why do you try and push them to give an answer they don’t have? That stresses them out and it makes them feel like they’re being punished for not knowing something.
i thought i was the only one with an “i don’t know” problem because my parents made it seem it was the strangest and also most horrible thing in the world. i genuinely didn’t know and they got angry and that only blocked my thoughts more which meant i didn’t know the answer to anything else.
THIS ^^^
Also “I don’t know” is a commonly used sentence for children with ADHD/Autism. We DON’T know why we can’t do our homework. We DON’T know why we can’t eat certain foods sometimes. We DON’T know why we forgot to do a chore. It’s really distressing when you genuinely don’t know and people think you’re just lying or indifferent
Supposedly it’s an attempt to get us to communicate easier, HOWEVER. There are much better ways if doing that. For instance:
Parent: why can’t you do your homework?
Kid: I don’t know!!
Parent: okay. I’m going to list some options, and you pick the one you think is closest to what you feel, okay?
Kid: mhm!
Parent: is it because you haven’t finished what you were doing before? Or does the homework feel to big to do? Do you not understand what you’re supposed to do for homework?
___
Like seriously, break shit down. Kids understand you and most of the time do want to make you happy, they just don’t got the words to do it right. In the case of adhd or autistic kids, we just REALLY don’t know how to express ourselves. It’s like auditory processing disorder, but for our emotions. Its hard. ALSO!! make your kids understand that asking questions is okay. Because as they learn about everything around them, it gives them tools to use to describe what they’re feeling.
(via love-lays-bleeding)
