obligatory “I have triggers I have PTSD” disclaimer before you cry to me that I’m ableist but we need to ban discord servers until you learn to get your triggers under control like the sheer amount of times I’ve entered servers that have had 100+ things like “beanie babies” “some anime that someones ex liked” on the “SEVERE TRIGGER IF U DONT SPOILER THIS YOULL BE BANNED AND HANGED” it’s exhausting honestly like you cannot expect 50+ strangers to conform to you esp when it’s shit like “scars” or “visible veins” like I often get urges to self harm that are brought on by visible scars do you think I would EVER approach a real human being with visible scars and say “please cover yourself you’re making ME upset” like absolutely not. remove yourself, google “alternatives for self harm” and then “how to deal with triggers” instead of forcing your problems onto other people. you will live the most miserable fearful life if you live in such a constant state of fear without ever attempting to get a handle on it and expecting everyone to conform to you
Trigger warnings are obligatory when engagement is obligatory (books/movies required for school, etc.)
Trigger warnings are common courtesy when they can be reasonably provided (common triggers in a more public setting, triggers your friends/loved ones have relative to how often you interact, etc.)
Trigger warnings are a favor when providing them would be going above and beyond (memorizing a lot of niche triggers esp. for people you don’t know, etc.)
And ultimately, you are responsible for advocating for yourself, communicating your needs to others, and caring for yourself and your boundaries.
Yes! Trigger warnings on the common stuff are supposed to give us enough breathing room to practice our coping skills on the weird shit that only applies to us. When you do that enough, the trigger stops being a trigger. Then you move on to the next one, gradually opening up and expanding your freedom.
For example: The smell of lavender use to be a trigger for me and I’d have to talk myself through it every time: “I’m reacting this way because this is what my abuser used to smell like. This used to be an accurate warning but it isn’t anymore. My abuser is not here. Lavender cannot hurt me. I am safe.” *Insert grounding exercise here* I went from reacting a lot, to reacting sometimes, to not reacting to it anymore.
In any given trauma memory, there is stuff that was genuinely dangerous (like an abuser’s behavior) and there is stuff that was just classical conditioning (the triggers). The classical conditioning can been undone and we ought to undo it. We deserve to be free AND we don’t have a right to control others.
(via sturionic)
