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Elizabeth Kirkman Fitzhugh, Militant Mary

November 13, 1914

I had never heard of this character before, but it really was published over a hundred years ago. Here’s a comics blog talking about her, and a couple more gems:

Obscurity of the Day: Militant Mary
It's hard to believe that this blog has been running over a dozen years now, and I am just now getting around to mak
strippersguide.blogspot.com
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this is everything i adore

here’s some other fabulous ones, courtesy of Chronicling America (direct source to each newspaper below the cut, captions in the alt text)

Militant Mary: I mentioned candy many times -- and did he take my HINTS? O yes! Tee Hee! Ha! Ha! Ho! Ho! HE BROUGHT ME SODA MINTS! - E. FitzHugh.ALT
Militant Mary: I can't afford expensive clothes, so buy them for a SONG -- Then spend my hard-earned-all to keep them clean! THE SYSTEM'S WRONG! -E. FitzHughALT
Militant Mary: They drift into my quiet life, men grave, and gay, and GLUM -- And as they all drift off again I WISH THEY WOULDN'T COME! -E. FitzHughALT
Militant Mary: Just when you're gloating over what a sport you are, all TOLD, Some Auntie visits you and makes you feel JUST EIGHT YEARS OLD! -E. FitzHughALT
MILITANT MARY: The sunshine has an added warmth, the trees are tipped with GREEN -- Alas for me! It's springtime AND I HAVE NO HOUSE TO CLEAN! -E. FitzHughALT
Militant Mary: The greatest enemy Youth has is worry, I've been TOLD -- And if that's so my checkbook SAYS I'LL SOON LOOK PRETTY OLD! -E. FitzHughALT
Militant Mary: I've overeaten, I'm afraid. I worship onion STEW, But "There's no joy without alloy," HOW TRUE! HOW VERY TRUE!! -E. FitzHughALT
Militant Mary: Our instinct is to slave and save, until some day we FIND We've shed our mortal shell AND LEFT OUR LITTLE PILE BEHIND! -E. FitzHughALT
Militant Mary: Whenever I go visiting I long to be a COW, so I can store away more food than I CAN USE JUST NOW - E. FitzHugh.ALT
Militant Mary: My veins are full of red, red blood! I vow I'll live, and THEN I put my elbows on my desk AND PUSH A PUNY PEN!-E. FitzHughALT
Militant Mary: I have no wealth or influence; I can't go forth to FIGHT But I can fill my own small sphere AND DO MY OWN WORK RIGHT! -E. FitzHughALT
Militant Mary: My boob beau called again last night, and I was sorely TRIED - If that guy doesn't stay at home I'LL COMMIT HOMICIDE! -E. FitzHughALT
Militant Mary: We spend our cash on friends, but O how often we WITHHOLD Kind words; they cost us naught, and yet ARE WORTH THIER (sic) WEIGHT IN GOLD! -E. FitzHughALT
Militant Mary: I asked for riches, joy and love, and Life refused me FLAT; So now I ask for nothing, FOR I'M SURE OF GETTING THAT!!! -E. FitzHughALT
Militant Mary: I've never been unprincipled - I'm proper as can BE -- And yet -- sometimes I ALMOST LONG TO GO ON A WILD SPREE! -Steve HydeALT

Alternate caption for that final one: Aren’t you tired of being nice? Don’t you just wanna go ape shitt?

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(via le-catman)