bibliophilecellistsoulsearcher:
…”Will you tag (something that is not a common phobia or trauma trigger)?” is always an appropriate request. Even if you’re asking “will you tag for the letter ‘e’,” you’re not crossing boundaries unless the person you’ve asking has already said, clearly, that they will not tag for a thing.
However, “no,” is an equally appropriate reply. It’s nice to have reasons (no I will not tag frogs because I post too many frogs and I forget, meaning that the tag will not protect you; no, I will not tag Disney princesses because it says “Disney princesses” in my blog description and you knew this was a dead dove before you took a bite), but they are absolutely not required.
“Will you tag for birds of prey?” “No. Please unfollow me if you require that tag.” is a perfectly polite exchange.
It amazes me when people forget this is a common courtesy. Also, if you like following someone in particular and they post things that trigger you, you can sometimes find ways to creatively block things they don’t tag for and continue to enjoy their other posts.
For example, Seanan posts a lot of frogs. Pics and vids of frogs squick me, and are related to some personal triggers, so if I’m already having a bad mental health moment seeing those can make it much worse. I love everything else she posts about and would be sad if I had to unfollow her just for the frogs. So instead, I have the name of the blog she usually reblogs frogs from as a blacklisted tag on xkit, and that knocks my chances of seeing frogs on her blog down to like, 5%. Doing that keeps my dash a safe space for me to relax and have fun, without asking her to second guess posting the things she relaxes and has fun with.
Sometimes you need to unfollow people, for the sake of your health in internet usage. And sometimes there’s workarounds you can put in place yourself to tailor what you see of someone else’s blog. But putting all the work of protecting yourself on the internet into someone else’s hands is unfair, to them and to you.
Many people have this idea that if someone doesn’t say yes or bend over backwards for them specifically then it must mean they’re a terrible, shitty -ist or -phobic person who doesnt care.
No, sometimes people just have boundaries and those boundaries can conflict.
No, sometimes people
just have boundaries and those
boundaries can conflict.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
(via somecunttookmyurl)
