The Future Will Be Carpeted: An Analysis of ‘Deep Space Nine (S1E6)’ by FBC Guest Contributor Justin Robinson!
“You hit me! Picard never hit me.”
If you Google “why Sisko is the best captain,” the second hit is a list of seventy indisputable facts. They’re also pretty big spoilers, so, you know, wait on those if you haven’t watched the series. Number 25 is “Q came to DS9 once and was scared away. He won’t leave Janeway or Picard alone.” Q decided to mess with Sisko and was smart enough to realize a simple truth: you can mess with Sisko one time. That’s your free one. You get a warning, and, as long as you go on your way, you can live in peace. Come back, and Sisko’s going to play a little game called “let’s see how many quantum torpedoes I can fit in your large intestine.” Sisko’s warning to Q came in the form of a pair of punches, which promptly knocked Q on his omnipotent ass. Realizing that a man who can punch out a god might be someone around which to tread lightly, Q rather sensibly fled the Alpha Quadrant entirely to go bug Janeway.
“I’m not Picard.”
— Q and Commander Sisko
Just in case you have no idea who the Star Trek universe’s Q is, I’ll explain. First, though, how’d you end up here? Are you lost? Wait here and I’ll go and get a police officer to take you home, and, for the last time, stop mixing your medication with scotch. Anyway, Q is a godlike alien being who walks the line between mischievous and malevolent and takes special delight in bothering Captain Picard. As played by John de Lancie, Q is one of the more popular and recognizable elements of the twenty-year period of Trek that comprises TNG, DS9, and Voyager. Me, I’ve never cared for Q. Nothing against de Lancie or the writing, I just prefer my godlike aliens to be more strange and less preteen-who-really-could-use-his-Ritalin. It might be because I look at Q as the physical representation of the Trek brass (a.k.a. Rick Berman and Brannon Braga). Wherever their attention is, like the Eye of Sauron, Q will soon appear, bringing his special brand of malicious whimsy.