I thought I was going to feel better after I called the guy who wants to take my fingerprints for this state job application, but I think I feel infinitely worse. 

He pretty much told me that since they want my fingerprints and a background check that I have the job contingent upon there not being anything shady in my background and I really, really, really, really, really, don’t want to work at the parole office with asshole officers and metal detectors and behind one way mirrors and locked in scary parts of Pittsburgh all day and everyone I met there was an overly aggressive middle aged white man and I felt really uneasy and gross there and fuuuuuck, but I am making myself sick over not having a job and being here being a drain on my parents that I feel obligated to go through with all of this. 

I so hope something else happens before all this stuff goes through so I can refuse them with no guilt. :C