did anyone else get a weird thrill as a kid from correctly imitating Normal Kid Things
like I would drink a Coca Cola (hating every sensory moment) and feel excited about participating in a Normal activity. I listened to 20 second samples of Avril Lavigne songs at Barnes and Noble and think, “oh yes, this is what normal American children do, look at me, I’m doing it too”
8 year old me: [eats a slice of pizza]
8 year old me: “Wow. I’m doing it. I’m really doing it. I bet I seem just like a Normal Kid. I bet this looks natural, like I do it every day without even thinking about it. If those people see me eating this pizza they will think, ‘Wow, what a regular child! Just like the ones on TV!’”
Frankly I still do this, to some extent–back in 2019 I went out with a friend after work and sat there like “Wow, I am in a city, drinking wine at a bistro with a friend from work, having an engaging conversation about our dating lives. This is what Normal Adults do. Look at me, a Normal Adult! Like from TV!”
Reading earlier posts about ways to Use Skills For Dead Presidents To Exchange For Goods And Services and laughed a little about sponsored reISH, just like:
“We wouldn’t have had that problem with that motel trying to fucking eat us if Jimmy had just installed NordVPN.”
“If he what?”
“NordVPN! They offer the fastest speeds in over 100 countries! Not only do they encrypt your data but you can unlock streaming services from other countries!”
“Wh- who are you talking to?”
“The first one thousand victims to use our code HOMICIDE will get 50% off a two-year subscription plan!”
ALT
